Second: Even though you have a lot of feelings and thoughts right now, this is not the time or the outlet to spill them all out.

It shows that you are open to a real conversation rather than accusations and attacks.” That way, they're far less likely to immediately go on the defense.

'You're clearly upset, but you're also levelheaded. “Non-reactivity shows that you're willing to negotiate,' she explains. Winter says there are four things to keep in mind.įirst: Keep the tone of the message non-reactive. Now that you’ve calmed down and really considered why you're so upset, it’s time to actually send the message.

Taking the time to cool off a bit can also give you a better understanding of what you truly need from your partner in this moment, as Rebecca Newman, MSW, LCSW, previously told Bustle, 'We sometimes perseverate on our anger because we feel compelled to be 'right,' when what we really need is to be heard.' Waiting to construct the perfect statement will make all the difference in your point being heard, and understood.” It’s hard, but it’s totally worth it. “Though the impulse is to attack, accuse or defend, here's where every word you write is of paramount importance. “The greater your anger, the more you need to wait,” Winter tells Elite Daily. But in this case, the only action Winter suggests is inaction. I get it - when you're angry, it's hard not to react immediately and let the chips - or, in this case, texts - fall where they may. Suggests something that might just feel totally impossible when you’re heated, but that’s really quite simple: Just wait. Susan Winter, relationship expert, love coach, and author of Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache

Let me tell you why you're wrong meme